Of Tall Tales and a Secret Cabal of VA Claims Saboteurs

 
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llama "This is Veterans Today....It is also the Twilight Zone." Most of my friends express a good deal of shock when I first tell them about how I spent the early 70's travelling the Indian sub-continent with my best friend. By day we worked as semi-professional cricket players, while at night we amused local village children with shadow puppet performances of the timeless works of L. Frank Baum. We subsisted primarily on cous cous and Carnation instant breakfasts mixed with the milk of the millions of free-range Llamas which terrorize the locals from the Hindu Kush down to Calcutta. On account of my Irish pallor and the thick veneer of SPF 80 which I habitually applied with a paint roller to protect me from the sun, I was known as "Mothax du Chhena " which rough translates as "the bastard of cottage cheese." And because of our daily sustenance my friend became known as "the man who drinks daily of Llamas." Because of the cumbersome nature of that name, and the lack of proper editing, a front page expose of our exploits in the New York Times incorrectly identified him by the name which would forever become his, the "Dalai Llama." For the less intuitive, this story has no factual basis. I spent the early 70's hunting frogs in my backyard and yearning for the manifold splendor of the place my parents kept preparing me for, kindergarten. Also, I am unaware of the Dalai Llama ever partaking of the frothy goodness which is Carnation’s answer to the recommended daily allowances suggested by the government. In other words, this farcical vignette has roughly the same factual basis as Gordon Duff’s little slice of idiocy entitled (with all CAPS and misspellings included):
SHENSIKI [sic] TOLD BUSH ERA ‘PLANTS’ SABOTAGING MEDICAL CARE AND COMPENSATION: CRIPPLING REFORMS TO KEEP VET VOTES FOR GOP.
Lest you not see from the title about what you are going to read, let me give you a flavor:
Information was leaked to Veterans Today that General Shensiki [sic], Veterans Affairs Secretary, has been briefed on the source of the scandals plaguing his department. Months into his tenure, late by our standards, staffers have finally revealed the depth of a Bush era plan to maintain control of the DVA and sabotage its medical and compensation programs in order to embarrass [sic] the Obama administration. Shensiki [sic] was informed that key administrators and regional directors, some long term employees and all promoted based on willingness to undermine veterans medical care and other programs have been working, not only to hold up implementation of needed reforms but to cause public scandals and embarassment. [sic]
I know some of you are wondering why I do posts on the League of Extraordinary Malcontents over at Veterans Today, and well, I do it because articles like this are so ludicrous that I have to comment. And for some completely inexplicable reason, Duff has a readership. There are some who might wonder how a guy could misspell the name of the Secretary of Veterans Affairs no fewer than six times (It is “Shinseki”) and yet still have his finger on the pulse of the VA. Well, he can’t, and he doesn’t. He just makes it up as he goes along. For instance, one of his “proofs” of this secret cabal is the backlog of claims. I worked on appeals before the Board of Veterans Appeals back in 1998-2001, and there was a backlog then. So, I wonder how it is that Bush was getting his VA insurgents in place before he was even elected. Duff continues:
Secretary Shensiki [sic], known for his personal integrity, was targeted, we are told by reliable sources, based on the belief that a military commander would be slow to realize that top level subordinates would be involved in "treason." To some extent, as news stories have shown, this has been correct.
Someone go ahead and explain to me what that is supposed to mean? Military Commanders are blinder to treason than others? Wow, thanks for the slander. And, lest an entire post go by without taking a pot shot at The American Legion:
Veterans Service Organizations have responded in a mixed manner. Some organizations, the largest in particular, have either totally ignored these issues or suggested watered down solutions meant to fail in implementation. No "mainstream" veterans group has had the courage to point out the obvious pattern of management misconduct or to approach the Secretary. Thus, reforming Veterans Affairs will actually have to be done, not only with almost no support from veterans, but under opposition by the major service organizations. The secretary was told that VA reform has never been a big issue with major veterans groups. Whatever policies are implemented or funding cut, most major veterans groups operate as part of the Republican Party, even to the extent of supporting politicians who continually lobby for cuts in veterans spending.
I’m sure blasting away on his keyboard while repeatedly using the wrong name for the Secretary will go a long way. It does not however change the fact that The American Legion has long been advocating for VA reform, most importantly (and recently) in the advance appropriations mechanism that will allow the VA to have timely, sufficient and predictable funds for the next year. Maybe Gordon Duff missed that news though as he was secretly contacting his specialized team of ninjas that he has infiltrated into the VA to catch the malicious claims assassins. If you wear tin foil on your head does the Ouija board still work?
Posted in Uncategorized, the burner | 6 comments
 
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Comments

Always look for the good in people -- at least Gordon Duff spelled his name correctly -- we hope!

What a babble of garbage! If this article doesn't put VETERANS TODAY on the "must delete" list nothing will.

Duffster, please change your medications (at least the illegal ones), 'cause I really believe they are kicking in. Remember, a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Now repeat after me -- S-h-i-n-s-e-k-i -- wait that may have been too fast. I'll slow it down -- S-----h------i----n----s----e----k------i.

Duffster, whatever sources you are using, please don't encourage them. They are throwing you under the bus. You will probably win a Pullmylizard Award for this article.

Dudes! Don't you realize that the estimable Mr. Duff is In.On.It? Good gosh golly we are magnificent! His incoherent ramblings are a form of inoculation so that no one will believe the story.

The Cabal's Conspiracy-fu is strong!

/s/

Cabalarista-in-Chief

Besides 'Thax ol' bean, we know the real reason you wrote this piece is so that you could be the first guy on the web to write the phrase: “the man who drinks daily of Llamas.”

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=%E2%80%9Cthe+man+who+drin...

the path to the "daily" Llama is long and uncertain... less you are the duffster, then you are enlightened to take the short cut to fame and fortune…

Never let me be one to attribute to simple bureaucratic blundering and apathy what could more neatly be tied up in a complex web of Republican ninja-robots and the Qabals of secret society/veterans' organizations who control them with the deftness of a master marrionettist. If I did that, I'd lose my budding career as an author of beach novels available in airports everywhere.

In the upcomming "The Shinseki Code" I tell the tale of a simple, yet brave shepherd from the mountains of Maine named Mothax who discovers the roots of a deep government conspiracy while attending a bath oil convention in Provo, Utah.

Keep the hits coming Mothax, ribaldry like this makes the daily cataloging of the miscues and misfortunes of the Federal Government just a little more palatable.

((Side note: you see sports teams named after great warriors like Vikings, Spartans, Trojans, the Fighting Irish...why isn't there a sports franchise named Ninjas? Discuss))

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News from the World of Military and Veterans Issues. Iraq and A-Stan in parenthesis reflects that the author is currently deployed to that theater.